Which is Stronger?

My writing prompt for today is, “Which is stronger, love or hate?”

My answer is Love, of course.

Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I believe love really does conquer all.

The Beatles sang, “All You Need is Love.” And while the concept makes for a catchy tune, it’s also a truth that some people still have a difficult time believing.

We get so caught up in our every day struggles that we forget that other people are going through the same struggles, or worse!

Misunderstandings, different mindsets and worldviews, and lack of communication, along with a variety of personalities and points of view, can fuel the fires for arguments and negativity, which can turn into hate.

And all we really needed to do was to talk to the person we were upset with in the first place.

We are all different. We are all human. We all started at the very same place. And I believe that if we took some time to get to know a person, a culture, a religion, or a nationality, and try to understand why they think what they think, and believe what they believe, there would be a lot less hate in the world.

But what it really comes down to is, who do you want to be? Do you want to look at the world as mostly loving and kind, or do you want to close yourself off and live in your own paranoia? After all, hate is just another word for fear; we fear what we don’t know and disguise it with contempt.

Ask yourself this question; do you want to live a life of love, or hate?

It’s really your choice. But when you choose, choose carefully. It’s difficult to change your course when you’ve been on it too long.

As for me, I want to do my best to live a life of love. I’m a work in progress, but at least I’m headed in the right direction.


Weirdest Job I’ve Ever Had

Write about the weirdest job you’ve ever had:

Like other pre-teens, I started working as a babysitter when I was 13 or 14, making 50 cents an hour. It sucked, but I got a few dollars for spending money.

Then there was that summer when i was 14, when I babysat three kids, while their mother went on a business trip. The kids’ sages ranged from 8 to 11, but I was just a kid myself. What the hell was she thinking?

She promised me $250 and only paid me $150 because she said I did a crappy job of keeping the house up, and the kids told her I was smoking pot in the basement. (I was, but that’s another story).

What could I do? I took the money.

My first real job was at McDonald’s on First Avenue NE (Cedar Rapids). It closed years ago, when they opened a McDonald’s down on 15th Street, and is now a gay club.

I lied about my age so I could start working when I was 15. It never occurred to me to get a working permit. I’m just a rebel, I guess.

It wasn’t a bad first job. I was a cashier, and although I came home smelling like old grease and French fries, I made fairly decent money. I used the money to buy a stereo and my first car, a ’72 Mercury Marquis.

After I turned 16, they came up with a law that stated you had to prove your age. So, instead of having my lie uncovered, I got another job.

It would take too long to go through my entire work history, and who really wants to read that, anyway …

I’ve had some pretty interesting jobs, but none I would really consider weird. My first husband and I moved to Colorado briefly, a year after we were married. I thought I would get a job right away, but that didn’t happen. Maybe they saw I was from another state and didn’t want to take a chance on me. But after a few weeks of filling out applications, I finally landed a job selling dishes.

I hated it.

It took me two days to realize I was not cut out for sales. My pitch was my inevitable downfall:

“I know they are a little expensive, but they are durable, and we replace them if they break…”

And then I would demonstrate how strong the cup was by pounding it on the case. The first couple times were fine, but when I put a little strength behind it, (no doubt thinking of how much I hated the job), the cup fell apart.

That wasn’t so bad; they forgave me, and they didn’t make me pay for the cup.

One night, my boss’ girlfriend too me to “Grand Central Station,” a huge bar in Colorado Springs, to hand out cards to try to get leads for demonstrations.

Great idea! Drunk people wouldn’t remember some lame chick signing them up for free demonstrations. “This is what I need to kick-start my career in sales…” I thought.

But I was wrong.

I could deal with the polite ‘no thank-yous;’ I couldn’t deal with people’s haughty rejections. They made me feel like I was a beggar.

It probably doesn’t sound so weird to someone who sells things for a living, but I should have known I wasn’t a natural fit. I can’t sell anything to anyone unless I truly believe in the product. And i can’t make people buy things they can’t afford. No matter how good it is.


Learning to Say ‘No’ is Lesson in Itself

I opened my Writing Prompts book and read this:

“Write about a time you said ‘No.'”

I almost looked for another prompt, probably because the subject sounded boring, but the real reason is, I am afraid of it. I’m not good at saying no, but I can honestly say I am aware of my problem. As the saying goes, you have to pick your battles.

I, like everyone else, am a work in progress. No one is perfect, but we learn from our mistakes to become better versions of ourselves.

With that being said, I can tell you, I don’t say no very often. It’s not that I can’t, I just really want to help people when I can. And when I can’t, I find a way to gently tell them no.

There was a time when I couldn’t say no because I felt powerless; I was afraid of making people mad, afraid they wouldn’t accept me as I was, afraid they would reject me. I wanted to be liked so much, I became a doormat, and did things I didn’t want to do just to please that person.

I became a people-pleaser. Like the term co-dependent, I hate the term people-pleaser, because it’s a label, and doesn’t do much to help the person in these situations. All it does is undermine your self-respect, self-esteem, and confidence. I should know. People have been labeling me my whole life.

“You’re a pest, you’re accident prone, you break everything you touch…”

I am a nice person. I am generous. I love to help people. This is the way God made me.

I have a hard time saying no because I want to change the world, but it doesn’t mean I don’t say no. Which bring us to my prompt for today:

As a parent, we tell our kids ‘no’ all the time. As an employee, we try not to say no too much or the boss will think we’re a slacker. So when was a time I said no, because I didn’t want to do something I didn’t want to do?

My daughter recently asked me to drive my grandson back to Des Moines and I didn’t want to.

I know I shouldn’t need an excuse, but I really didn’t have the time.

Does that count?

She might have been disappointed, but she didn’t say or show it. However, I told her I could help out when I had more time, a promise she took me up on.

Maybe the reason I don’t like to say no is because I hate to disappoint people I care about. I know how it feels. And disappointment sucks.

I know I’m not responsible for people’s feelings; it’s another mindset I am in the process of changing. But if I have the chance to bring a little sunshine to someone’s gloomy day, I’m going to try hard as hell to make it happen.

It’s a fine-line: I want to help people, but I don’t want to feel like a doormat ever again. Some people take advantage of kindness, and others see it as a weakness.

I’m not going to stop being kind. But I am learning to say no those who don’t appreciate it.


Passion Outweighs Moderation

Today’s writing prompt:

What area of your life do you tend to enjoy in excess instead of moderation?

Obsession and passion are the same thing, just different perspectives. So I suppose I could say the things I enjoy in excess are simply passions in disguise.

I write. A lot.

I get up in the morning and work on my website, tributecr.com, and create the day’s inspiring message and update the upcoming events and news. Then, it’s off to my day job as a Benefits Specialist for a local car dealership.

I might work out at the gym during my lunch hour, where I take notes about the things I want to write about when I get home, or I might interview someone for a news story. Sometimes I even take my laptop to work and use my hour to write.

Finally, it’s 5 o’clock, and I hurry home to get back on my computer, and either blog, work on my stories, or write news articles.

In a few short hours, its time for bed, and I set the clock for 5:30 am, so I can do it all again.

At first glance, one might think my excess lies in writing, but who can put a limit on creativity? Besides, who would want to?

However, I think we are being asked to focus more on the things we enjoy in excess that aren’t particularly good for us, like sweets or potato chips. I also drink too much coffee and pop. And though I love to bake, it means I have to eat it too, so I suppose the answer to the above question is: I enjoy eating, though excessively is a bit strong.

But who am I  kidding … I’ve never been able to do anything in moderation.

Happiness or Success?

My writing prompt for today poses the question,“What do you want more out of life? Happiness or Success?”

Success means something different to everyone. But then again, being happy does, too.

Some people believe being successful means having a lot of money, fame, or power. But to me, a successful person is someone who has a pretty good handle on life. And if you have a good attitude and the determination to keep moving forward, being a success can take on a whole new meaning.

I have goals I would like to achieve, such as writing a best-seller, or doing something to change the world. And, by some miracle, if I do achieve these goals, I might be considered a success by some, but what really matters most is how I perceive it.

And honestly, even if I don’t write a best-seller or change the world, I will still see myself as a success.

I am a success because I am happy.


Modern Technology

The writing prompt for today is: “What piece of modern technology can you not live without?”

The word that popped out to me is “Modern.” What exactly is considered Modern? It’s a relative term that is different for everyone. what might be modern to a 10-year-old, would most certainly be different to someone who is 87.

So to me, living my 55th year, “modern technology” could mean anything from computers to FitBits.

Let’s go with that.

Computers are a given; they have invaded our society so much that most people would have a difficult time adjusting to life without them. Computers have changed the way we shop, the way we are entertained, the way we live.

Personally, I would have a hard time living without a cellphone. It’s true; I lived a long time without one, but now that I have one, it’d be tough to give it up.

I feel more secure because I know I can rely on my cell phone if my car breaks down (if I remember to charge it), or if I’m going to be late getting home (try and find a pay phone these days), and I can contact my kids if I need them (yeah … right).

I know I could do without it if I had to. But I don’t want to.

I  broke down and bought a cell phone when my kids started buying them. My first was a simple Nokia. That was before texting or computer access, so it really was just a phone. But now I can fill the memory with apps that allow me to watch videos or play games if I get really bored (and now I have a tablet to do that, too!)

I bought an Echo Dot for Jeff for his birthday and soon found myself telling my mini blue tooth speaker to “Turn it up!”

It didn’t of course. It was then that I realized maybe I was becoming too dependent on my electronics. What happened to me? have I become one of those people who texts as they cross a busy street, or looks at their phone more than the person sitting across from them?

No way! But I’m not perfect …

What will happen to us if we wake up someday and find the world has run out of electricity to run all of our fun gadgets? (I think a TV show was created from that concept.)

Maybe we have to treat our electronics like we do any other potential addiction–use in moderation; be aware we have a problem; and learn to manage it responsibly.





People in Glass Houses

My writing prompt for today is, “Make up a new ending for the saying, “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t …”

I use the traditional ending–Throw Stones–to describe people who are being too judgmental. But what popped into my head next was:

“Walk around the house naked.”

What a coincidence: I just watched a video on Facebook that showed “bubble” cabins in Europe, where you can experience nature, and sleep under the stars in the comfort of your 360-degree panoramic room.

My first thought was, “But everyone could see what you are doing,” and I don’t think I’d like that.

I am not the most private person. I can tell people I just met stories of my childhood, but I do believe what happens behind closed doors should remain private, if you get my drift. I don’t even like opening the curtain in my bathroom, that’s how concerned I am about keeping my private things private.

Some people might like the bubble-shaped cabins. It is pretty cool sleeping out under the stars; but frankly, I like to be able to walk from the bathroom to my bedroom without having to put a robe on.

But that’s just me. And I would hate to live in a glass house.