I started keeping track of what it would take to launch a newspaper 20 weeks ago.
Twenty weeks. And every day of it was spent either working towards that goal, or, at the very least, thinking about it. I planned, and wrote, and figured, and planned some more.
It has almost been a year since I had a conversation with my professor, one that spawned an idea, which became a plan, and now becoming a reality. It hasn’t been easy, but yet, it hasn’t been the most difficult thing I have ever done either. It has helped me learn what I’m made of.
I haven’t always been the most confident person. In fact, at one point in my life, I thought of myself as quite the opposite, where everything I did was an effort. Nothing seemed to work out the way I wanted and I felt like a failure. Now I realize that I was looking at life as something that happened to me, instead of what I did with it.
It’s all about perspectives.
Week 20 has me thinking about all that I have accomplished up to this point. Not just with the newspaper preparations, but my life, in general.
I was a single mother with 4 children, my youngest challenged by a severe learning disability, and three daughters, who seemed to make it their life’s goal to turn my world upside down. I tried to better our situation by going to college, but I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and fell behind. My level of confidence sunk even lower. But I never gave up.
Once my children moved out the house, I began to think about what I wanted to do with my life. I was still young and I knew there had to be more to life than what I was experiencing. So I took the first step and went back to college. Only this time, I picked a major that was better in tune with a dream of mine; I wanted to be a writer.
So here I am. Soon I will be graduating with a college degree and publishing my newspaper. Ten years ago when I was in the midst of chaos, did I ever imagine that someday I could accomplish so much?
To tell you the truth, I was worried more about how I was going to make ends meet rather than what I would do with my future. But when I finally had a chance to breathe and look at my life, I changed my perspectives, and then I changed my attitude.
I still have four months before my first issue comes out. Even though I still have a few things that I need to do to get ready, I no longer ask myself if I have what it takes. I already know that I do. Everything I had ever done in my life has prepared me for this…everything. The problem solving, the mediating, the persistence, the concessions, the determination and perseverance, they were lessons that I had to learn to get to this point in my life. I somehow knew all along that I would get here.